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Swiss Army Man, The BFG, The Shallows

Swiss Army Man

Paul Dano stars in Swiss Army Man as Hank, a man stranded on an island who gives up on suicide when he finds new hope in Daniel Radcliffe’s, Manny, a dazzling corpse that can fart to propulsive effect, produce potable water, and chop wood among other fantastical feats.

It isn’t long before Manny is doing more than farting though. Spurred by Hank’s desperation and desire to live, the dead man comes to miraculous half-life, a kind of broken child in need of parental guidance and male camaraderie. Funny, how playing a dead body brings Radcliffe to stunning life as an actor. This is his finest work yet.

One assumes delusion is responsible for the duo’s conversations most of which revolve around Hank’s teaching Manny about the painful ways of the world, the social graces, and the often heart-wrenching ins and outs of human courtship.

The two develop a powerfully emotional bond along the way as Manny’s myriad skills bring Hank closer to civilization and a renewed lust for life.

This endlessly inventive survival comedy takes the buddy movie formula to new, allegorical heights and hits more than a few palpable notes of pathos and existential angst along the way.

Unfortunately, the film runs out of its own gloriously flatulent fuel with just twenty minutes to go and co-writers and directors Daniels Kwan and Scheinert flail away at the ending.

Their egregiously bungled climax isn’t enough, however, to sink their delightfully uplifting film. Had they only had enough faith in the thrust of the film’s poetry and opted for beautiful simplicity in the third act instead of explaining away the characters’ fantasy world, they just might have ended up with one of the year’s best films. Johnny DiLoretto

The BFG

Steven Spielberg is just too damn good at making movies. And that’s just the problem with his adaptation of Roald Dahl’s The BFG, a tall tale of an orphan girl and her friendship with a bucolic, vegetarian giant. The film looks and plays nimbly, just the right narrative thrust here, just the right pauses for wonderment there, beautifully realized digital effects, but lacking the breathtaking flourishes of humanity that mark his best – and, alas, earlier works.

Still, there are a handful of joys to be had here. Particularly, the digitally animated performance of last year’s Best Supporting actor for Spielberg’s Bridge of Spies, Mark Rylance, who really pushes motion-capture to the limits of its capacity to harness human expression. And his voice work, especially in the BFG’s endearing predilection for gobble-snookering – my word –  the English language, also raises all future expectations for performers venturing into the realm of animation.

All in all, it’s hard not to recommend The BFG. Spielberg and Rylance conjure just enough human scaled magic to put a few admission-worthy smiles on our faces. Johnny DiLoretto

The BFG:

In The BFG, Sophie, a little orphan girl, spots a giant in the alley way behind the orphanage. The giant then plucks her from her bed and takes her away to giant country. At first she thinks the giant will kill her and she despises him because he took her from her home. Afterwards, she and the giant become friends when the other giants bully the BFG and Sophie wants to find a way to get rid of them. How they do this is a fun adventure you can only enjoy by seeing this masterpiece of a movie.

Steven Spielberg directed this movie with a fun attitude like in the way the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) talks and the hilarious stupidity of the other giants.

The John Williams score however did not seem to be as great as his others such as Jaws.

The expression on the BFG’s face looked truly human and realistic. The voice acting and motion captured performance of Mark Rylance were amazing. They made me feel like the movie was more realistic.

In one particular scene the BFG is taken into Buckingham Palace and brings a little present for everyone that had the audience bursting with laughter. The ending though was bittersweet. I won't tell you why because that would be a spoiler. I'd give it an A but it’s on the verge of an A+.  Vincent DiLoretto

The Shallows

Blake Lively has committed a number of cinematic crimes (hello, The Age of Adaline) and for these she now has to sit on a rock in the ocean chatting up a wounded seagull while a big-ass effing great white shark patiently circles her waiting for the high tide to come in and wash her off said rock and into his gaping maw.

Sounds simple enough and at just one hour and twenty-seven minutes The Shallows is almost – almost – short enough. In that span, one beach hobo and two additional surfers are eaten, but with little joy and even less horror.

Unfortunately for Lively, her med-student-surfer character is a narcissistic boor saddled with poorly telegraphed mommy issues. Thus, her mano-a-mano with the “squalus gigundus,” though intermittently pulse pounding, can’t ever compensate for how annoying she is. For instance, when her guide asks how she plans to get back from a beach so preciously secluded that he won’t divulge its name, she triumphantly exclaims “Uber.” This might work out if Uber’s algorithms could triangulate her position using the coordinates: beach bum torso, rotting whale carcass, and that aforementioned rock…

The Shallows would all be a cheap, B-movie kick if the filmmakers cracked at least one joke. All that we’re left with is a little guileless Jaws-in-a-Teacup. But, for some of us shark porn addicts, thumbs enthusiastically inward, it’s just pleasurable enough. Vincent DiLoretto

Johnny DiLoretto is a longtime media celebrity in Columbus,co-host of Cinema Classics for WCBE, and host of The Not SO Late Show at Shadowbox Live,..

Vincent DiLoretto is his 12 year-old son.

Johnny DiLoretto is a longtime Columbus media personality who has amused audiences since 1998 when he began writing irreverent movie reviews for The Other Paper. Shortly after that he made a distinct impression on local TV audiences when he became ABC 6 and FOX 28's nighttime entertainment reporter.